View from the Outside

I saw this picture tonight.
And it perfectly describes a lot of things that went on for me today.

image from 'weheartit'
A lot of times, I feel like I'm just holding my life together at the seams, and that everything could fall apart at the drop off a hat.
I had a family session this morning, and it was really hard and brought up a lot of stuff (fear, sadness) for me. Basically, I'm really worried about this upcoming school year (or 2 school years, but I'm trying to take it one year @ a time right now). I am really nervous and not sure how I'm going to hold everything together. My eating disorder was my coping mechanism for a life that I felt was unbearable. But now I'm back in what sometimes seems like an unbearable life again but without that mechanism. So yeah, sometimes I do feel like the sky could fall in at any moment.
Today, I also spent a lot of time thinking about  a friend of mine who is having a really rough time right now (not with ED stuff, only but with a lot of other things). Then I talked with her on the phone and felt like I needed to keep reminding her that life is not always going to be this hard. She's just going through a rough patch, and can't see a way out right now, but I really believe that things are going to work out for her. I need to have hope for her right now, when she can't have it for herself. I just kept telling her "things are going to be okay" over and over and over again.* I knew that she needed to hear that, she needs someone to believe in her right now. I'm not her right now, I'm not going through the emotional roller-coaster she must be on, so it's easier for me to see the situation with more clarity. 
It really is like when someone is on an actual roller-coaster. When you're strapped into that seat and going a zillion miles an hour, you have no idea where it's going to turn next or when you'll be flipped upside down. But when someone is down below, watching their friend on the coaster- waving (and thanking god that they just stick to the teacups), they can see where the roller-coaster ends, where it curves and turns, because they aren't stuck in a fast-moving whirlwind. 
After getting off the phone with L, I realized that I just need to keep telling myself the same things I was telling her- that things are going to be okay. And just because you can't see that in the moment, doesn't mean it's not true. Just because a solution isn't in your immediate view, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Sometimes it just takes time to get there. Moral of my long-winded story? I need to calm the F*&^$ down and just trust that I'm going to be okay this year, and the sky isn't gonna fall in.
Its funny how it is so much easier to think and see clearly when you are on the outside, when it's not your own problem. I guess this is why people can't do this (and by this i mean everything- recovery, life) on their own, they need the clarity that comes from the outside.

*I really do believe that we can change the way we respond to situations if we change the way we think about them first. I asked her to try writing that statement ^^^above multiple times, even if she doesn't believe it. It's like how in order to change your body image, you need to just keep telling yourself that you think you are beautiful, until you actually believe it. In order to affect change, we need to change from the inside out- not the other way around. There must be studies done on how thought + brain patterns change based on simple repetition - right? I know that the whole 'body image' thing must work because I remember a point when I was younger when I specifically taught myself to keep thinking I was fat. Clearly- it worked.