Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Rainy Days and Mondays

always get me down...

too bad yesterday fit both of those criteria!
Yesterday was not. fun. 
Lets just put it that way.
I was super exhausted at school and hence not very pleasant to be around/felt bad about being "anti-social"/was having a terrible body-image day and basically wanted to disappear or for no one to even glance at me.
I had a really hard therapy session (which I should make a post about at some point) and then came home, slept, binged & purged, cried, and then finally got back on my feet after spending some time watching Mad Men with my parents.
It's always surprising to me that my parents tend to be the source of comfort that I am looking for when I am having days like yesterday. 
Even in their newly-about-to-get-a-divorce-want-to-rip-each-others'-heads-off kind of way of acting around here lately, last night, it was still really therapeutic for me to just spend some time with both of them, together.
Maybe I haven't really put enough weight (no pun intended) on the fact that my parents have just recently decided to get a divorce into my thoughts about how i am coping/all the stress in my life. I don't know.
I don't like to think about them much. It's kind of upsetting. Hence why i never got around to formally mentioning it on the blog a month ago when all hell broke loose/ the shit hit the fucking fan and my entire house was in shambles and we are now in process of moving those shambles elsewhere.

Okay. I didn't intend to talk about my parents marriage (or lack thereof) right now. It's just complicated and messy and boring, I'm sure, so i'm gonna go hit the books now.

Hope everyone had a better start to the week than I did. At least Tuesday has been a big improvement :) (How could it not be?!)


  1. *HUG*
    Rose, I will be thinking of you A LOT this week!!!!! I'm sorry to hear about your parents getting a divorce, I can only imagine how hard that must be on you. Hmm... Perhaps you aren't putting enough weight on how it is affecting you. Just a thought, but perhaps you are having trouble with body image and ED behaviors right now b/c you aren't facing your feelings about what's going on in your family? I'm sorry if I'm completely off, I just know that when I find myself restricting or having particularly bad body image, it is usually b/c something else is wrong- there's a feeling or situation I'm pushing away and numbing myself from.
    I hope that your week improves!!! Stay strong girl, you can get through this! I'm sending many, many virtual hugs your way.

  2. Again, I'm so sorry that you're going through this with your parents. I'm glad they can still be a source of support to you, though. (And by the way, Mad Men is awesome.)

    I do hope that this week continues to get better and better. If you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me! I adore you, dear.

  3. Yuk. That sucks.

    Mak use of teh bad day...maybe you can take a closer look at why you turn to the rents at times like these. Could it be you are looking for connection?


  4. I cannot honestly say just how... How MUCH I relate to this. With the parents and their divorce and ALL. Sometimes it takes a while for realization to settle in, and when it does, it doesn't do it lightly. You might not realize just how much it's affecting you and your choices/thoughts/actions, but it may be having a huge impact. What matters though is that you have the power to control your mind, your thoughts and your actions.

    Today might have been a bad day, but tomorrow can always be better. Bad days will come, but so will the good, and bad days make the good days all the more better.


  5. Yuk. That sucks.

    Mak use of teh bad day...maybe you can take a closer look at why you turn to the rents at times like these. Could it be you are looking for connection?