today was the friday from hell.
i overslept after a weird insomnia-ish night and had to choose between eating breakfast & getting detention or skipping and just being late for class, rather than missing it entirely.
I chose the former.
Reasons for this?
I know how bad it is for me to not eat breakfast. I can't go down that road. Maybe for some other teenagers it's okay (though not ideal) to skip "the- most -important- meal -of -the- day", but for me, I know it's not.
I have to eat breakfast. I have to eat regularly. It's not okay for me to skip it one day because then it could become the next day, and the next day, and the next. And soon enough, if breakfast isn't "necessary", then why the hell should I eat snacks, or lunch for that matter...
Of course, you knew where I was going with this.
So, I ate breakfast. After jumping out of bed, flustered and late at eight am, I calmed myself down and went to the kitchen and poured myself a big-ass bowl of cereal and just resigned myself to missing first period.
It sucked. The easier thing to do would have been to just go to school and not risk getting in trouble and even maybe feel "accomplished" or something dumb like that for not eating breakfast. The even easier thing to do would have been to say "f*** it" and ask my mom to call me in sick and to just not go to school at all. But I didn't do this. And i'm glad. Today was rough and I was exhausted and running around school working really hard all day, but at least I can lie in bed tonight knowing that I accomplished something. Even though my brain feels like a ball of mush and I'm pretty much convinced that my limbs are going to fall off just because my body is aching with exhaustion, there is something to be said for knowing that I toughed it out today, and ate my food and kept it too.
Well, I guess this is all just a long-winded way of saying TGIF, and let's just take a minute to be grateful for the fact that it's the weekend, and for everything, really.
On that note, I'm going to take my ball-of-mush self and go to bed, and maybe i'll sleep a little easier tonight knowing that even though today was a struggle, I've proved that I can field any curveball thrown my way.
xo
Rose
p.s.
I got a Top Anorexia Blog blogger award! (It's in the sidebar) Woohoo!
love you all.
