Friday, January 14, 2011

so...what's my deal yo?

good afternoon faithful bloggees. (If i'm the tutor and your the tutee, and i'm the advisor and you're the advisee, then if i'm the blogger, you're most definitely the bloggee, right? right. settled.)

So i'm home from school today. Home sick.
Although here's the issue- i'm not so sure that i'm sick.
It's just that i have been feeling terrible lately about pretty much everything in life and last night i basically had a total emotional crisis moment and then this morning i woke up and my entire body wouldn't move. 
Ever have one of those freaky dreams where you are trying to move your limbs but they're paralyzed? It was kind of like that. But not a dream. Or at least i don't think it was a dream. And then i was all achey.

And my brain keeps on getting upset whenever i start to think about the things that are going on in my life (ahem- how hard school is right now and how much i wish i had actual friends in high school these days...)
and then my whole mind goes blank and i'm back in empty mode and i don't know where to go from there.

So that's the deal with me.

the way i can tell that most of this is psychological though (even though it's kinda crazy that it's affecting me so physically) is that i really just want to spend today baking this:

i've never made bread before. ever.
bread is no easy task, folks. (even for a seasoned baker like moi) <---kidding. duh.
but i don't know about you but i'm pretty sure that if i was coming down the the flu or sars or something then i would probably not be feeling super ambitious and like i wanted to toil over some yeast and flour in the kitchen.

In order to at least save myself the added guilt of feeling like i'm skipping school so i can make bread, i'm gonna skip that activity for today. (and most likely forever. i mean, how could i possibly not come out of that feeling like a failure when my predecessor was Joy, baker extraordinaire?) I hope she doesn't mind that i clearly have a huge out-of-control bloggy crush on her. oops.

ok well now my head hurts. like really hurts. as in not a euphemism for i'm upset. so i think i'm going to go make myself some soup. and maybe nap or watch some bad tv.
if i take any pictures of my soup and it turns out looking warhol-esque or if anything interesting happens in my very uninteresting day, i'll be sure to share with ya'll.
happy friday :)


  1. Oh babe :( I hope that you start to feel better- both physically and emotionally. I've been emotionally kind of losing it too and i know that causes me horrid headaches.

    I'm glad you're considering to go take care of yourself, nap and watch bad reality tv :) you go girl..

    hahaha :)

  2. thanks lisa :)

  3. Oh Rose, I am so sorry you aren't doing well today. I think we all have days like that. I wonder if the freezing weather plays a part? I think that you would thrive here on the West Coast...a bit of sun makes all the difference for some people and their moods. Well that, and bad TV and soup. And bread. Definitely bread.

    I hope you have a better Friday and a wonderful weekend my friend. I'm thinking of you!

  4. i find that hot lemon water helps a lot with headaches and relaxation. hope you feel better.

  5. Hi Rose! I hope you feel better soon. I have been following your blog for a little while (though I just started my own just yesterday) ever since I saw your post on Fbomb and have to say I am amazed by the strength and determination you have. We all have hard days, and maintaining confidence in one's self can be a challenge, believe me, but you take on those days with grace. Thanks for being an inspiration!

    Also, your photos always look great!

  6. Aw, hon. REST your weary soul. Just for a bit., No guilt. Weekend is here. Let it be all about YOU, and resting and taking it easy and nesting and napping.

    Sounds like that's what you need and deserve.

  7. Rose dear,
    I do hope you feel better soon! Rest and take lots of care to nourish your self. <3
    p.s. tagged you in the stylish blogger award :) just a little something.

  8. Oh my goodness - Yes, yes yes!!! I've had sleep paralysis like three times now, and it's absolutely terrifying! I actually wrote a post on it awhile back.

    Feel better Rose :)