So I was on the phone with a staff member from MNV today.
I love and respect this woman so much, and she is recovered so i really felt like talking to her was useful, especially today.
One of the things she said to me was "You have three choices. You can stay still, go backwards, or go forward."
This really struck a chord for me as I was recalling to one of my friends even last night that i was scared that i was going backwards, in terms of my food/thoughts/etc.
After I got off the phone, I actually felt like i had the strength and I got out of bed and went out and met up with a friend- so i went forward instead of staying still (wallowing in my misery) or going backwards (engaging in eating disorder/ self destructive behaviors to not feel the misery).
I feel like I actually accomplished and learned something today.
I'm feeling really grateful for the person who i talked to (lets call her "A") today, especially because she and I have not always been great buddies but, really, I felt so loved and supported today by her.
Hanging in there!