Reason to Recover?

How about this little girl?

That's my five-year-old niece, Sophie, and me, at her preschool graduation last Friday.
I'm so proud of her. I love her dearly. And she loves me back.
She probably tells me more than anyone else in my life how much i mean to her, in her adorable little way.
I'm so grateful to have her.
I want to be a good role model for her. I want to be someone she can look up to, someone she can confide in. I want to be an example for her. I want to be there to help her when things get tough. The first time she thinks about her body, I want to be able to tell her, without hypocrisy, that she is beautiful just the way she is. I want to be fully present to be able to comfort her when she is upset, when school is hard, friends are mean, or mom and dad aren't enough. I want her to see somebody who she wants to be in me.
I could never look at this picture and then go make myself throw up, or make myself run when i didn't want to, or skip my dinner. I feel that when i hurt myself, I hurt her. I can't break that innocence.


I love you, Sophie.
xxx
R