Saturday, October 23, 2010

I like my muffins tasty, thanks.

i'm so tired. I think i need to go to the doctor/psychiatrist. My fatigue is getting to be chronic and its annoying, because i wanted to be productive and do work tonight, but all i can think about is sleep!
I was going to post tonight, and i had a ton of pictures for you all, but it took forever (read: at least 20 minutes!) to upload all of them and then i pressed something and they all deleted so now i'm frustrated and just going to go to sleep.
i'll post more tomorrow, i swear.
i don't want to leave ya'll with nothing, because that, i think kind of defeats the purpose of my challenge, to post every day for a week, because i don't think just an excuse really qualifies as a post, so i think i'll share some tidbits of my day with you. 
Well, first off, I baked! I baked (or attempted to bake) double chocolate sour-cream muffins. this was a fail for a few reasons:
1) We (my dad and i) forgot to add the water. I just tasted some of my delicious-LOOKING muffins, and they're hard as rocks. the only good part is the top, with the chocolate chips that are still gooey.
2) They're not actually sour-cream. We used 2% greek yogurt instead. Why, oh why did you violate such a cardinal rule of baking (follow the instructions!), you may ask? My dad, it turns out, is a serious fat-phobic, borderline-anorexic, fucking pain-in-the-ass & triggering asshole. That's why. He refused to let me use sour cream. And got mad when I questioned him about it, and told him how unhelpful it was for me that he was afraid of sour cream and was saying how "bad" it was for me. He is such an asshole. No surprise there.
Let's not even go into the fact that i get so triggered by my parents all the time. And they fail to notice. No matter how many times i tell them that it is NOT OKAY to say things about food around me (aka "that was bad"  "this is fattening" , "i ate too much today" "let's not use butter" ), they, without fail, always are insensitive dumbasses about it. there's no sugar-coating it. 
My dad and I got into a fight while we were baking and it just totally ruined the experience for me. Note to self: bake ALONE. so that you can a: listen to music rather than garrison freaking keiglher and b: HAVE A GOOD TIME and use whatever full-fat ingredients the recipe fucking calls for.
The rest of the day was not as disastrous as the baking was...(thank god!)
I went on a run! With my dad. (this was before the baking disaster). It was actually really nice, and I felt really accomplished (disregard the fact that when asked by my mother how the run was my dad replied that I was "not doing well" because I got a cramp half way though...as if that qualifies as a disaster.)  because I actually ran for a good 20 minutes straight without stopping. And even then I think we ran most of the way. Yay!
I also just slept really late and relaxed and had a good time. I needed the rest, I think.
Anyway, sorry for the lack of photos, perhaps i'll post them tomorrow! Hope everyone had a good saturday!
xo
rose

P.S. Do any of you have parents with eating disorders/ disordered eating? and also...Does anybody have any good baking/cooking mishaps they'd like to share, to relieve poor rose of her shame ;) ?

7 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry about your parents being so insensitive and triggering!!! That's so aggravating, no one deserves to be treated that way. I am super proud of you, though, for recognizing that your dad's comments were HIS problem and not taking them to heart! YOU GO GIRL!!! :-) You are clearly so much stronger, and better off, than he is. Neither of my parents have an ED and they are very supportive for the most part, but my mom once in awhile says very triggering and offensive things, b/c she is very body conscious despite not having an ED. It's so hard to recover when our culture is so eating disordered!
    I don't have any baking/cooking mishaps to share, but the reason why will most certainly relieve Rose of her shame: I DON'T KNOW HOW!! I know it's weird, but I never learned to cook or bake. It's something I know I need to learn, though, it's definitely an important life skill!
    Thank you so much for your comment on my blog! I'm glad you like my comments as well, because yours are always so encouraging and helpful and I appreciate them so much! <3

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  2. Although the things your dad was saying weren't in any way helpful, your perception of them is very encouraging. I'm so glad you realise this :)

    On baking disasters, one time my friend Chris came over to my house for his birthday, and I was like "Let's make birthday cookies!". We then had the (un)inspired idea to make these cookies blue - except there wasn't enough food colouring and they turned into this horrible, mould-green colour. Then we decided to shape the cookies into letters that spelled "C and R FTW" but when we took them out of the oven, they had spread into ONE GIANT TRAY SHAPED COOKIE. Which then I dropped, because the oven glove had a hole in it and the tray burned me. The tray landed cookie first on the floor. So, in conclusion: we had delicious, mould-green floor cookies.

    We had so much fun though in the making, and all the numerous disasters that happened were all hilarious! :)

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  3. My mom had a gastric bypass when I was 10. When she would overeat she would get sick and throw up. Not sure if it was necessarily an eating disorder but it definitely affected me. I started purging when I was 12. I'm 28 now.

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  4. To jess- <3 :)
    Roseanne- that baking story made me laugh out loud. LOVED IT. i don't feel quite as bad now! ;)
    Anonymous- I am so sorry to hear that. Thats a really sad story, I can't imagine what that would have been like, to be so young and have a mother around you who was clearly so weird about food. Are you getting help/do you want to get better? Please email/contact me directly if you want any advice or someone to talk to or ANYTHING at all. I wish you the best of luck.

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  5. A LOT of adults have eating issues. Just last night I was at my friends house and her mom basically ate tons of cake because it was her 'last night to eat cake then back to her diet' SAD :(

    Dana xo
    http://happinessiswithinblog.com/

    ReplyDelete
  6. To jess- <3 :)
    Roseanne- that baking story made me laugh out loud. LOVED IT. i don't feel quite as bad now! ;)
    Anonymous- I am so sorry to hear that. Thats a really sad story, I can't imagine what that would have been like, to be so young and have a mother around you who was clearly so weird about food. Are you getting help/do you want to get better? Please email/contact me directly if you want any advice or someone to talk to or ANYTHING at all. I wish you the best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Although the things your dad was saying weren't in any way helpful, your perception of them is very encouraging. I'm so glad you realise this :)

    On baking disasters, one time my friend Chris came over to my house for his birthday, and I was like "Let's make birthday cookies!". We then had the (un)inspired idea to make these cookies blue - except there wasn't enough food colouring and they turned into this horrible, mould-green colour. Then we decided to shape the cookies into letters that spelled "C and R FTW" but when we took them out of the oven, they had spread into ONE GIANT TRAY SHAPED COOKIE. Which then I dropped, because the oven glove had a hole in it and the tray burned me. The tray landed cookie first on the floor. So, in conclusion: we had delicious, mould-green floor cookies.

    We had so much fun though in the making, and all the numerous disasters that happened were all hilarious! :)

    ReplyDelete